I am working on this in my own teaching. I intend to do my best at this in all areas of my life, but I'm going to start with teaching, and specifically teaching orchestra and class guitar, which is where I believe I need it the most and I think it will do me the most good.
For example, I have one little boy who loves to talk during class. Of course, it slows everybody down, but I could make it worse by asking him to stop every time. Ok, so I admit I've tried this, and I can tell you - it doesn't work.
What can I try instead? How about, instead of getting after him about it, I could say, "Thank you *insert quiet student's name here,* I really appreciate how well you're listening." (At this point, hopefully some of them will catch on.) "We can move on because many of you are being so attentive." Or, if you think not enough people are behaving, you can do the tried-and-true "Ok, I'll wait until it's quiet enough and we can go on." Often students in a group setting will chatter out of boredom, and so the promise of moving on in the method book or to the next activity is enough to get them quiet.
That was a behavioral example - what about technique in a group setting? Praise the kid who's paying attention to his posture, especially if that's one who rarely does. Catch them doing something right - this is an especially potent version of finding the good. It will show them that trying does matter. And always, praise effort, not ability.
Find the good.
Challenge: This week, instead of pointing out what's wrong, look for what your student is doing right. I don't mean ignore what's going wrong, but make sure they know they can do something right. It will encourage them to continue to try their best, and make everything you ask be as good as what they're already confident of. Look for the good. It's not just a tone of voice or pedagogical thing - it's an outlook and a way of life. Try it - your students (and your conscience) will thank you.
How do you find the good?
